Something Lite

From an email I received today...

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers totake any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, orchanging one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year'swinners. Read them carefully. Each is an artificial word with only oneletter altered to form a real word. Some are terrifically innovative:

1. Intaxication: Euphoria felt by politician passing a tax cut withoutany idea what programs to cut to offset it .

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people, that stopsbright ideas from penetrating. The Bozone layer, unfortunately, showslittle sign of breaking down in the near future. (Pronounced Bozo ohn)

4. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders thesubject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the personwho doesn't get it.

7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.

10. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all thesereally bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth e xplodes and it'slike, a serious bummer.

11. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the dayconsuming only things that are good for you.

12. Glibido: All talk and no action.

13. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter whenthey come at you rapidly.

14. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just afteryou've accidentally walked through a spider web.

15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into yourbedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

16. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm inthe fruit you're eating.

17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.