Bryan's Little Corner

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Friday, February 29, 2008

55Flash Fiction Friday

You have to kill her off, but how
A gun, to loud
A knife, to messy
Poison, traceable
Staged accident, promising

You could run her over,
you might be seen

Push her in front of a bus,
again you might be seen

You settle on
cutting her break lines

The life of a adventure/mystery novelist

This seemed like a novel approach to the 55 this week (sorry). Also sorry for such a late post of the 55. Between work, research for work, and homework assignments for the group I am part of, I think I zapped all my creativity. Add to that a foot that keeps reminding me what a klutz I am and ... well I did the best I could.

If you would like to attempt a 55, click on the badge on the side bar. It is not that hard and it is a fun thing to do with Fridays.

Happy Birthday to any Leap Year babies out there. My Bosses Boss is actually a Leap Year baby. It is not an easy thing to do. You have 4 times more chance of being born any other day of the year other then leap day since leap day only occurs every 4 years, if that (While 2000 was a leap year and 2400 will also be a leap year, 2100, 2200, and 2300 are not leap years even though you would think they would be. Of course I will never see any of those years). Any other day of the year occurs every year.

You have a wonderful weekend.


Thursday, February 28, 2008

A Challenge

The last little bit I have been challenging myself. I am a computer programmer by trade. I have to keep current on things to do my job well but nothing says I really need to push myself all that much. That is kind of the way things have been. I may learn new things at work but, off the job, I do not do a lot of anything, especially work related.

Well last week I attended my first meeting with a group of people. They are trying to get certified in several Microsoft technologies. This could eventually lead to more money either on their current job or somewhere else. It is funny but this group is almost over and I am not sure how much I will get from it but it already has made a difference. I looked at how much it would be to get a compiler for home again. I have been doing my homework from the group and finding that interesting. I have been learning.

Now for me I seriously doubt I will be moving on to some other job somewhere else. I am sorry but once you hit 50 that seems to be a real stigma to hiring you. Also, for the most part, things have went decent where I am. There are aspects about it I do not like but how many jobs are “perfect” anyway? Also I am putting together an OK pension that hopefully they will not take away from me. For a place that values education, even if I were to be certified I would not see a raise or and advancement. I guess it is something to the affect why are you more valuable to me now then just 5 minutes ago or something to that affect.

But the real reason I am looking at doing this is just to challenge my mind. That is always a good thing. Who knows, maybe I will write a program to pick the winning lottery numbers. And you never know, maybe if I do end up out of work (Michigan does not have the best economy right now) this training might be of some use to me after all.

Anyway that is where a bit of my time has been being spent as of late. I will try to get things balanced out so I can accomplish things and also blog.

Now if only I could come up with a theme for 55Flash Fiction Friday. Maybe something to do with biker week in honor of G-man heading south for fun and sun. Thinking, thinking, thinking... I got nothing.

Update: Was I surprised today by my special challenge today. My challenge was walking. You see I live in a by-level, a half flight of stairs up from the ground. I was walking down the stairs to take the trash out for trash day. Somehow half way down the half flight of stairs I managed to slip off the stair I was on. Down I went and worse yet, I had stuff in my hands so I could not protect myself. Luckily the stairs are carpeted and the fall went pretty well. I will have a sore leg and foot for a little while but other than that I am fine. I guess I better work on my special challenge for the day before I kill myself.

Monday, February 25, 2008

It's Tool Time

Yesterday on my way back from seeing my niece do like a million activities, it was time to pay the folks a little visit. At least that was the intention.

I ended up repairing two lamps after going for parts, riding with my Dad to get his car washed, a little minor shopping, adjust for daylight savings on their thermostat, fix their remote. There were several other things too. All and all, no big deal but it was to them. It is amazing how easy it is to make a difference in someone else's life.

Oh by the way, for you in the States who observe Daylight Savings Time… it is only a week from this Sunday that the clocks SPRING forward. Just your friendly neighborhood PSA.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Stop the Campaign, I want to Get Off

OK, time for you to skip this post. I am going to talk United States politics. I am not going to go into it deep or really push for a candidate or anything. Actually I am more disappointed with things about this whole debacle.

I watched the democratic debate. What I saw Obama won hands down. However I found out later that Clinton did much better in the first half I did not see at first. Clintons attack on Obama for plagiarism, please. First it was not plagiarism. Second, who cares. That to me says desperation. Tell the people why they should vote for you. Don’t slime your opponent. Let me warn you, I do not like Clinton and will not vote for her. Not because she is a woman but just because who they are. I thought ending with Clinton was her crying all over again. Sorry, Clinton is tough as nails. All she did was scripted and an act. Obama I do not know well enough yet to know if he is worth voting for. I know there are a few things that worry me about him but other things makes me wonder if he might be a good choice.

I watched the news afterwards. Now I watched CNN but it was heavily democratic leaning and anti republican, What ever happened to reporting the news. So I switched over to fox news. Now they are heavy republican leaning although they do have at least one person that is very democratic on staff for certain segmants. Still it was all doom and gloom for both Clinton and Obama. Some were saying Clinton was trying to set the stage for bowing out. Sorry, I am not buying that.

Another issue that was covered on CNN as the McCain. They were all but saying shame. Wait a minute, the facts that I see say that nothing inappropriate was done. The only thing that happened was something that appeared like it could be inappropriate so they staff wanted it stopped. Is there more to this, don’t really know especially from watching CNN. Then there was Fox News who totally went after the NY Times. Basically they said there was nothing to this story. They spent about 2 months trying to find something on McCain and could not find it but published anyway. From what I could tell, the only things that might even be possible, McCain might have showed some favoritism but even that I am not sure of and he has given me no reason to doubt him.

The thing that is driving me nuts is neither CNN nor Fox News reports everything. You have to watch both and kind of make up your own mind. The Democrats just want to create million programs. Why should I have to pay for all those programs. Help them help themselves maybe. Now on the other hand the republicans want to give business a break. What about the people, don’t they need a break. Stop giving the store away to business. That is part of why I like McCain. He is more or less moderate. That is what I think we really need. Not a hard left Democrat or a hard right Republican. McCain also seems to have a track record that that is who he us. Clinton will change in a heart beat if it is to her advantage, Obama has not seemed that way but the more I have talked to people the more I know I need to learn about him.

I would think about voting for an Independent but have you ever seen what the Independent parties stand for.

Anyway they are just driving me crazy. They have been at it campaigning for over a year already and we still have 8 months to go. I can’t take it anymore. I am voting the Peanuts party and voting Charlie Brown the President. He can not do any worse. Sorry, I think I just needed to spill a little... Don’t get me started on the Gilbert Bus Brawl.

Friday, February 22, 2008

55Flash Fiction Friday

Here you sit
Nothing but time to think
where you went wrong

It was after closing
Alarms were off
you knew how to get in

You broke into
the small furniture store
You knew they carelessly stash
money to open tomorrow

That bed looked so inviting
If only you got more sleep
the night before

It seems like I am hearing more and more stupid crook stories. I rarely go a week without some really "smart" crook pulling a real bone head move and getting arrested or killed.

Some example

A crook stole a snow blower in the middle of winter. What did they do? They used the snow blower to clean the snow from the sidewalk from where they stole it to make it easier to get the snow blower home.

A person started a fire, filmed it and posted it on YouTube. Can you say busted.

Another YouTube, a group broke a store window, filmed it and posted it.

A guy dressed up like a cop and, with red and blue flashing in his car, pulls over an off duty cop and tells him he was speeding. The cop suspected the badge he flashed him was a fake and asked for photo ID and a better look at the badge. The fake cop ran back to his car and fled but not before the real cop copied down his license plate number.

There are a lot more examples. I have a question, is this an example of the people that will be running our country when we retire? I wonder if it is very expensive to buy my own private secluded island and go live on it? Want to come along?


For more information on 55 Flash Fiction Friday and how you to can participate, click the badge in my side bar. The hardest thing is coming up with an idea. After that it is a piece of cake. Come join us.


Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Some Humor in Rainbow Order (waves to Lime)

6 reasons not to mess with children.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large
mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

and totally unrelated...

A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but..... Something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck, and we were unable to find it."

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming to you, and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000 an inch."The man perks up at this. "So," the doctor says, "it's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision." The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day.

"So," says the doctor, "have you spoken with your wife?"

"I have," says the man.

"And has she helped you in making the decision?"

"She has," says the man.

"And what is it?" asks the doctor.

"We're getting a new kitchen."

This was fun for me. I went shopping for ingredients for the yummy sammich that Lime shared with us today. One of the places I visited had like thousands and thousands lots of different wines. I just had to share one of the bottles I found. I took a picture of the wine bottle but silly me forgot to save it so I had to find this picture off the Internet.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Now That is Entertainment

What an interesting picture I went to see Juno.

One place I was reading they said it was an artsie movie plucked from the art houses and placed into mainstream movie houses. You know, I think I kind of liked that.

Now besides the movie, there was other entertainment going on. I go to the little theater in this little town. The theater was only about a third full so plenty of room to move around. I got there early and was I glad I did. I would have missed some of the entertainment.

The place had a smattering of couples, a few singles and lots of empty seats. Next thing I know a gang of teen boys comes in. There was 5 or maybe six in that group. It was hard to say how many as there where two that were constantly jumping up wandering around the theater. Another came later and still another, well I am not sure where they came from. One of the wanderers had “the moves” as I can only assume he thought he was cool, or was it that he was the clown... not really sure. For some reason it kind of made me yearn for high school all over again. Anyway there was also another person who was the gamer of the crew as they sat and played games on their cell as another buddy looked on. There was also plenty of flashing of cell phones going on as they all had to stay in touch with each other.

Before long a giggle of teen girls came in and they sat in back, well for a little while. The wandering welcoming committee from the gang headed up in their direction and next thing you know, the giggle came down front and off to the left. Funny I payed attention to them for a little while. I saw similar people in the giggle as I saw in the gang. The goof ball, the game player, the watcher, the wanderers. There was an addition as the giggle had along some ones little brother too. Of course with the giggle there was constant heading out of the theater and back but they would always do it in pairs. Could it be they were using the bathroom? But the guys bathroom is so small that only one person uses it at a time. Maybe the ladies is different. I guess I just do not understand giggles. At one point there was someone that came running down the isle at like mac 2. How they ever stopped I do not know. Surely this could not be the giggle, that would be most un-cool (what I know of it). It turned out it was the younger brother of the giggle. Ah, that works,

Throughout the movie there were lots of little lines that would set the teens off. Sometimes it was the gangs turn, sometimes the giggles. It was interesting seeing what type of humor set them off. Mostly however, they were fairly quiet and just watched the movie or entertained themselves.

At the end of the movie the giggle scooted out just as the credits started. The gang got in some sort of huddle and just talked. Slowly everyone else filtered out leaving the gang in the theater. Even though I did not do a great job of describing the goings on, I must say I was most entertained.

As to the movie, I enjoyed it. Somehow not being a Hollywood production was enjoyable. Seeing a teen take responsibility for her actions resulting in her pregnancy was refreshing. Some of the sayings, oh heck, most of them I either did not hear properly or I am majorly out of touch with teen speak. Heck who am I kidding, I am sure it is both. All and all I can see why IMDB gave them an 8.3 I think it was. If you are looking for something to see and you can deal with the teen pregnancy I think you just might like it, I know I did. That was my evening yesterday.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Book Meme

I found a Meme over on Sometimes Saintly Nick's blog (which by the way is a great blog to check out) that sounded pretty good. It is a book Meme.

Now I have a bunch of books no one wants to hear a portion of, mainly computer or photography related. So I cheated and went after a specific book I had in mind. It turned out it only had 5 sentences on page 123 so I had to kinda start there and did the last three sentences on that page rather then the next three.

Here is the Meme...

The Rules
1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages)
2. Open the book to page 123
3. Find the 5th Sentence
4. Post the next 3 sentences
5. Tag 5 people.

The book I choose was A prayer away FROM healing From a Christian Lesbian's View. The author is Debra Pasquella, a fellow blogger over at Let Me Go On and On.

"Looking back, my feelings of guilt stem from not feeling accepted; of feeling rejected by society. I am now secure with who I am because God says I am okay. God confirms that I am still loved by Him regardless; I am His child...and so are you!"


Friday, February 15, 2008

55Flash Fiction Friday

She waits at home for your return

Upon arriving you can see
the total, unconditional love
in her eyes

She would do anything
to please you

Yet time and again
you would let her down

She will always forgive you

You do not deserve her

There is nothing like the love
of mans best friend

(Lucy as captured by Crabby)

I could not help but think of this 55 after perusing Flickr yesterday. There I saw pictures of Lucy, an absolutely lovable Golden Retriever whom I have met twice. There is no such thing as an enemy, she loves everyone. You have a snack, you are her best bud. Heck you were her best bud from the moment you walked in the door. Want to play fetch with her, she will love you for life.

So while you all were off enjoying Valentines Day yesterday, here I sat thinking about getting a dog. I hope everyone had a great time yesterday. Enjoy the wonderful weekend and don’t forget, only about 5 weeks until spring (or fall if you are from the southern hemisphere). I can not wait.

Won't you join us with a 55Flash Fiction. Click on my side bar for more information. It is not that hard and you do not need to be an awesome writer or anything.


Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Recipie For Barman

I thought the Jillie drink looked so good that I just had to see what a Barman was...

The Recipe For Barman

3 parts Warmth
2 parts Style
1 part Energy

Splash of Friendship

Shake vigorously

Can't I make this 2 parts Energy?

For Strumpet

This would be the firemen I mentioned Strumpet. Taking a picture of my TV does not do the firemen any justice. It is the best I could do on short notice. I hope you enjoy.

Something Light

This was passed to me by email. Since I need to get caught up with things I thought I would share this with you while I am busy. I hope you enjoy it. Of course most of you whiper snappers are much younger than this but...


1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

4. People call at 9 pm and ask, Did I wake you????

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat supper at 4 pm.

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get in to heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

19. You can't remember where you read this list.

And you notice these are all in Big Print forYour convenience

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Thank You so Much

Sorry I did not do an update but I really was not where I could get to the Internet.

My Mom came home this afternoon. They decided that the hole in her lung has sealed itself and she is doing well. She still has a cough which was responsible for getting her into the hospital in the first place but with the pile of meds she has, with luck she will be healing and getting back to normal soon.

I must say, while I was there I ran into a lot of doctors and they were not all guys. Some of the lady doctors were pretty cute too. I wonder if any of them where single??? lol

It was a strange time. The first day I was extremely worried but I tried not to let on. I knew my Sister would not take this well and if I did not be strong she would be not doing well at all. By my second day it finally hit home that my Dad has Alzheimer's and I needed to look after him and make sure all was OK and also do what I could to comfort him to. I mean this is a very strange situation being apart from her and all. Luckily he is not to far gone yet but still it was a challenge that I was not sure if I was up to or not. By the third day I realized that I needed to grow up.


I needed to take charge and get the house clean, the dishes done, dusting, things organized, etc. My Mom keeps a neat house but being very ill for a week and then in the hospital it was in need of some attention. I could not see my Mom being burdened with that first thing out of the hospital. Luckily I did not get to the next step and having to worry about bills or things like that. Now I know probably anyone out there reading this is saying well duh! But I just am not used to having to do things like that when I visit and I guess I was still in the visit more.

So now I am back home and having to deal with all the snow but that is fine. At least everything else is doing well. I can handle the snow, cleaning my own house, work, piece of cake.

Once again, thank you so much everyone. It really comforted me knowing you where there. Now, LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Asking For Your Help

I am on may way to Detroit. My Mom is being rushed to the hospital. She is very sick and now she can not breath. Normally she has use of less than 18 percent of her lungs because she has bullae emphysema and a somewhat rare lung disease called Alpha-1 Antitrypsin Deficiency Syndrome. But with being sick it is much worse. I am truly worried she may not make it through this.

If you should happen upon my blog could you please send positive vibes or prayers her way. I would really appreciate it.

UPDATE: First and formost thank you everyone. It really means a lot to me. I talked with my friend from Kentucky on my drive down to the hospital. I never talk on the phone while driving but it really helped me get through that drive. Friends really make a difference.

They admited my Mom last night. She is doing better but they wanted to do more tests. Lets make this short. After all the tests and everything they have noticed air around the lungs that should not be there. They determined that a bullia ruptured and allowed the air to escape the lung. Further obervation that have determined the bullia has sealed itself since the air pocket is not growing.

What this means is rather than having to put in a chest tube to remove the air they are trying to give her high concentrations of oxygen to cause her body to absorb the air. Hopefully by this time Monday she will be doing pretty good and possibly able to come home Monday night or Tuesday. Luckily work is being understanding and I am able to take the time to be with family. My Dad really neads someone to be there not only because his wife is in the hospital but also since he has alzheimer's.

Well that is the basics of it. She is in the hospital but doing much better. We hope she will be coming home soon. Thank you everyone for being there for me. It means a lot to me.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

55Flash Fiction Friday

The game was tight.
Acing serves was not enough.
You needed speed,
a good backhand,
ability to turn on a dime,
dive for missed balls,
All this and save enough energy
to go the distance
and finish the game
a winner.

In for the kill
you smash the racquetball
and hit your sister
you lose.

OK, this was not fiction. When I was younger I loved to play racquetball. I was decent at it once I had been playing for a few weeks but I still had my problems. My worst problem was I had a terribly weak backhand. If you placed the ball right down the left wall I would miss more often than not. To counter this I had this killer serve that almost no one could return. I later discovered, since I hit three walls with the ball, it was illegal. Still I did well other than that. Of course it I were charging after the ball watch out, I may not be able to stop. I hurts running into the wall at full speed.

I usually played with my one friend Don. We were fairly evenly matched. It was always a good workout. But there was one thing about Don. When he hocked up with a new girlfriend I would not see him again until they broke up.

One such time I talked my Sister to come play a game of racquetball. All and all things went pretty good. I am not really sure who was winning but the one thing I do remember... the buzzer sounded and our hour was up but the ball was still in play. My Sister was in front of me and I decided to SMASH the ball. I hit it as hard as I could which would have been OK expect I smashed it right into the back of my Sisters neck. The was not my intention at all but, needless to say I still am reminded from time to time about the one game.

I sure miss racquetball! Anyone want to play a game with me?

If you would like to try a 55Flash Fiction, they really are not that hard to do. Some people really are such wonderful writers. Why don’t you click the badge on the side bar for a little explanation of what a 55 is all about. Also be sure to visit the others that play to see how it is done. You can find out who played by visiting Susie’s place. Also if you played be sure to let Susie know. You can find a link to here blog on my side bar. Look for the carrot next to Susies the Boss.


A Couple of Funnies to Pass Time

10 Finkers

Ole vas vorking at the fish plant up nort in Dulut
vhen he accidentally cut off all ten of his finkers.
He vent to da emergency room in the Clinik and vhen he
got dar da Norsky doctor looked at Ole and said,
"Let's have da finkers and I'll see vhat I can do."
Ole said, "I haven't got da finkers."
"Vhat do you mean, you hafen't got da finkers?" he
said. "Lord-it's 2007 and Ive's got microsurgery and
all kinds of incredible techniques. I could hafe put
dem back on and made you like new! Vhy didn't you
brink da ! finkers ?"
Ole says........"How da fock vas I suppose to pick dem up

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous
sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:


ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking
about buying a computer.


COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.


COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?


COSTELLO: For my office?


COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say
I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I


COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with
some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have
anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right what do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?


(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on 'START'

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Aren’t Cell Phones Fun

I recently upgraded my cell phone. I have finally joined the 21st century with something that can text message, take pictures, share those pictures, browse the WEB somewhat, check email, receive voice mail, heck I think it might even do the dishes but not the windows... I checked.

So with this modern day cell phone what have I managed to do? I received a call the other day from a teenage girl (I would guess). I told her she had the wrong number but she would not listen. Later I received my first of many text messages. I decided, right or wrong, to ignore the messages. They were not to bad. I only got about a message every couple of days.

Finally today I received a message asking if I was mad at her. I finally replied and told her that

she has the wrong number like I tried to tell her before.

She replied WHAT

Oh great, here we go. She sent one more message which I ignored and decided once I read that I was going to send her one last message that I thought would maybe even make her burn her cell phone. The message?

This is the last you will hear from me. You have the wrong number. You are texting a 50 year old man.

I was sure that would be the last I heard from her. But instead I did not even have to send it. In that message I did not read she shouted at me (all caps) and even said that explains why my name sounded stupid. See that is another reason I figure it is a teenager. Anyway hopefully that is all done with. If not, next thing you know I will end up on some sex offenders list for carrying on with a teenage girl.

Yep, cell phones can be so much fun.

Fat Tuesday and Down

When I think of winter this year, why does that picture seem like such a perfect fit? We have had highs almost in the 70s and lows below zero. We have had more than 8 inches of snow in one sitting and have had all the snow melt off at least twice. And now here we go again. 2 to 6 inches of snow predicted and temps back below normal after being a ways above normal. No wonder I am always right on the verge of being sick this year.

It's Fat Tuesday so I am off to get a supply of Paczki for the office, something I have done for years. I know it is a terrible thing to do as these things really are full of tons of calories and as much or more fat than a whopper but it is only once a year. I guess I can accept that.

Now time to head into work... maybe I will grab some Mardi Gras beads on the way out... to wear, not to throw. Now that would be most inappropriate. I have been to boring lately. I know, I hear at least someone out there saying what do you mean lately? Shhhh!

Monday, February 04, 2008

My Favorite Super Bowl Ad

I only saw portions of the Super Bowl. It looks like it turned out to be one super game no matter which side you were rooting for. I also only saw a few commercials, most of which I was not all that impressed with. I found out that this was one of the ads I missed. This has to be my favorite... GO CHARLIE GO!!!

Friday, February 01, 2008

Jeff Dunham - Achmed the Dead Terrorist

I hope this does not offend. Someone sent it to me and I just had to share. It appears I am going to see this guy over Derby Festival time down in Louisville. That should be fun.

I thought this looked fun

What Bad Ass Rock Legend Are you? *with pictures*
created with
You scored as Slash

You are SLASH!

What more is there to say.......Keep on Rockin!



Jimi Hendrix


James Hetfield


Ozzy Osbourne!


Tommy Lee


Kurt Cobain


Billie Joe Armstrong


I saw a few people do this and I thought it might be fun. It says I am only 70 percent Slash. I just don't know. Only 70 percent does not a Bad Ass Rock Legend make.

55Flash Fiction Friday

The snow plow is ready.
I’m ready to move on a moments notice.
Once the snow starts flying
I’ll be busy for 24 hours straight.

Funny the snow is eight hours over due.
That is the last time I trust the weather man.
I wonder if I can send him a bill for my time?

The wacky weather people were calling for us to get between 8 and 12 inches of snow. Everyone is in a panic. They even checked out the emergency broadcast system at work so they could be prepared to send out a message closing things if the weather is to bad.

Well here I am at 25 or 6 to 4 (3:35 am) unable to sleep. I checked and all we have is a very light dusting (under an inch). We were suppose to get light snow starting at 7:00 pm and heavy snow as of midnight. Maybe the weather man will still be right and I am not complaining about the lack of snow ... all I can say is, I want that job. What other job can you be so wrong and still keep your job? With how they have been doing lately, I look forward to Punxsutawney Phill’s prediction on Saturday predicting the length of winter. He can’t do any worse than the weatherman have been doing.

Have a great weekend.


Production Halted

I have been doing a little research about vibrating pants after a few comments in the prior post. I have decided that it is just to risky to manufacture these at this time. Here is why...

A KINKY housewife was knocked out cold in Asda — after her vibrating knickers left her overcome with excitement.

The thrill-seeking shopper was wearing a pair of battery-operated Passion Pants to spice up her sex life. But as she pushed her trolley she got so aroused by the 2½-inch vibrating bullet inside that she fainted.

The 33-year-old fell against shelves and banged her head in the crowded store at Swansea, South Wales. Paramedics rushed to help — and found the black leatherette panties still buzzing. They switched them off and removed them before taking her to hospital.

The above article does bring up one question, at least to me. It says that the paramedics removed her knickers. Why did they do that? Moving on ...

I also found a poem that was about this very event. It was rather amusing. The poem came to 56 words. Interesting on the eve of 55 Flash Fiction Friday and all. Here is a link to that poem.

After reading this two items I think it best that production of the vibrating pants be stopped before someone gets hurt.