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The Irish Virgin
In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin and very proud of it!
Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and desiring to make sure everything was in proper order when she dies, she went to the town's undertaker (who also happened to be the local postal clerk) to make proper "final" arrangements. As a last wish, she informed the undertaker that she wanted the following inscription engraved on her tombstone:
"BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED AS A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN"
Not long after, the old maid died peacefully. A few days after the funeral, as the undertaker--postal clerk went to prepare the tombstone that the lady had requested, it became quite apparent that the tombstone that she had selected was much too small for the wording that she had chosen. He thought long and hard about how he could fulfill the old maid's final request, considering the very limited space available on the small piece of stone.
For days, he agonized over the dilemma. But finally his experience as a postal worker allowed him to come up with what he thought was the appropriate solution to the problem. The Virgin's tombstone was finally completed and duly engraved, and it read as follows:
(are you ready)
(bet you can't guess)
(her tombstone reads:)
"RETURNED UNOPENED"
I will be most busy this weekend. I may post something for Photohunt but other than that I will not be around. I would like to take the time now to wish everyone a very nice weekend. Oh and happy April Fools to those of you that are so inclined. P.S. Had to bring back the original do also. Take care.
Strangely, I feel like staying at home... and doing my homework... and flossing... and dying a virgin. --Buffy the Vampire Slayer
In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin and very proud of it!
Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and desiring to make sure everything was in proper order when she dies, she went to the town's undertaker (who also happened to be the local postal clerk) to make proper "final" arrangements. As a last wish, she informed the undertaker that she wanted the following inscription engraved on her tombstone:
"BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED AS A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN"
Not long after, the old maid died peacefully. A few days after the funeral, as the undertaker--postal clerk went to prepare the tombstone that the lady had requested, it became quite apparent that the tombstone that she had selected was much too small for the wording that she had chosen. He thought long and hard about how he could fulfill the old maid's final request, considering the very limited space available on the small piece of stone.
For days, he agonized over the dilemma. But finally his experience as a postal worker allowed him to come up with what he thought was the appropriate solution to the problem. The Virgin's tombstone was finally completed and duly engraved, and it read as follows:
(are you ready)
(bet you can't guess)
(her tombstone reads:)
"RETURNED UNOPENED"
I will be most busy this weekend. I may post something for Photohunt but other than that I will not be around. I would like to take the time now to wish everyone a very nice weekend. Oh and happy April Fools to those of you that are so inclined. P.S. Had to bring back the original do also. Take care.
Strangely, I feel like staying at home... and doing my homework... and flossing... and dying a virgin. --Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Labels: Humor
LOL, that's pretty good and a great way to start a Friday.
I like this picture of our Barman the best.:)
tc
Happy Friday to you Bryan....hope you have a great weekend....the only thing I'll end up doing is helping out with the grandkids still........I have to make the best of it since I'm leaving here next Friday and heading back home to Maryland!!
LMAO! Good one, Barman. I have a friend who'd like this.
Don't work too hard. You'll end up stiff and sore like me. ouch.
Have you got something against us virgins? Oh wait...never mind!
LOL
Have GREAT wknd and enjoy those pictures!!
;o)
You know, my dad says that the only virgin these days is an ugly eight year old!!! hahahahahah
Have a wonderful weekend...
I'll make sure I alert the local burglars, hehe!
Have a great weekend and if your house gets T.P.ed, I have no clues about it.
Ahhhhhhahahahhahha
Nice joke! A welsh rarebit is like a cheese on toast thing but is usually referrred to as a Cardiff virgin!
Have a good weekend!!
NOTICE!!!!
i read a thing on Signgurls blog about her having a gall bladder issue...i had a weird lisa idea
that it wouldnt hurt anyone to try the following...lets just call it a
creative visualization exercise...
if everyone takes a moment or 2 or 5, and would kindly just focus their thoughts on Jenn, and on clearing up the area of obstruction, just imagine it
as being clean and clear of any problems whatsoever, visualize her as having this problem leave her body, it will help to send that energy out to her body...it wont hurt, it can only help, especially if many people do it as often as they can in the next day or so. so if anyone feels inclined to assist, and to see how potent our thoughts can be, please join in and put your healing energy to Jenn, to Signgurl, and help clear up her pain and discomfort by visualizing this gall bladder problem as completely healed, with many positive thoughts sent to her only...you can use some wonderful tools to enhance this exercise, such as imagining light, white, pink, or gold, in the area of obstruction, or all throughout and around her body, or imagining water or water infused with light in it, to shower throughout the area to cleanse it, and "wash" the obstructions away, or any other creative thoughts you can imagine to help assist her body in healing this. i'll do the same from here, and let's see if we can give her a nice boost to help clear this up....i may post this in several places...thank you all for your kind thoughts to Signgurl Jenn...! xo
I can't want to be returned unopened!
Tee hee, Bryan.. your jokes always make me smile.
Happy weekend to you!
Excellent joke there, I love it!!
LOL
I finally have you linked properly, hope you had a great weekend.
just stopping by to see if you really weren't posting this weekend....thought that was you're April Fool's joke....hehehe.
Barman!!
Where'd you go to Kentucky?
Great Joke BTW!!
I hope you had the most wonderful weekend barman...Now get back here and play!
Not sure what a photohunt is but thanks for the motorcycle shot, I reposted it under the Wild Hogs review.ox
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