Smile

How about something a little fun...

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds
of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type
I had been using. After browsing for several
minutes, I was approached by one of the good-
looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked
if he could help me.

Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I
think I like playing with men's balls."



My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a
store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we
were looking at the display case, the boy behind
the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied,
"No, I'm just looking at your nuts."

My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy
grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To
this day, my sister has never let me forget.



Have you ever asked your child a question too many
times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems
with potty training and I was on him constantly.

One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch
in between errands. It was very busy, with a full
dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of
course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean.

Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go
potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to
go, and he said, "No."

I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an
accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."
Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an
accident?"

"No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have
had an accident, because the smell was getting
worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you
have an accident?"

This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE
MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"

While 30 people nearly choked to death on their
tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and
sat down.

An old couple made me feel better by thanking me
for the best laugh they'd ever had!



This had most of the state of Michigan laughing
for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor
who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.

What happens when you predict snow but don't get
any? A true story. We had a female news anchor who,
the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the
weatherman and asked: "So
Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last
night?"

Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half
the crew did too!



While on a flight from New York , the Stewardess
was busy passing out peanuts and cokes to everyone.
There were about sixteen flights lined up waiting to
get clearance to take off. Then the other Stewardess
got a message from the Pilot that the tower said
the wind had changed 180 degrees and they were first
in line to take off, and to have everyone buckle up.

Without thinking she just announced "Please buckle
up, grab your drinks and hold your nuts, we're
taking off!". No one saw her for the rest of the flight to Houston, and
all the other Stewardesses were laughing all the way and so were half
of the passengers.



One more day to the classic showdown, #1 Ohio State University vs #2 Michigan University.

GO BLUE

Im gonna go see if i can get a wrench to strip my nuts --Arrested Development